Totally Real Histories
@chat is this true?
Hey Chat. I think I figured out the meaning of life. A bunch of people saw me in meditation while I was figuring out my truths and now they demand that I share them. Honestly I’ve spent years in meditation at this point and don’t really have the ability to communicate my thoughts any longer, can you help me?
Of Course! It’s really great that you dedicated yourself to this cause! I can tell you from my experience that life is really complex and difficult to figure out. I’d be glad to help you on this Herculean task that you have in front of you. Let’s put together the three truths of life and the three rules that everyone should follow to really win at life!
Thanks. Actually I’ve found four fundamental truths and an eight-fold path to help everyone reach their own truths of life and living. The Four noble truths are
1. People live in a constant state of dissatisfaction.
2. Be it greed, envy, or comparison, everyone experiences some temptation of Mara.
3. There is a possibility to be free from such temptations, and reach a state where that dissatisfaction has ceased.
4. The truth of the eight-fold middle path will set one free of desire and lead them to contentment.
I know you said three truths and rules(?) but life's a bit more complicated than that. I mean it took me three years to get to these twelve combined. I just want help with like a script.
Amazing! These are truly radical ideas. Clearly pointing out a problem that most people face, establishing a root cause, and finally helping people break attain their freedom. Let's see how we can fix these truths and make sure people follow you devotedly.
1. 🧠 Make sure to only teach 3️⃣ lessons
People are not capable of counting past the number three. No doubt you have been able to after years of deep meditation. So let's combine the first and second truth and really drive home the idea that Nothing can ever be good.
2. 😳 Teach people that YOU are the solution
While it is noble to empower people to help themselves, be sure not to empower them too much. You need to be the solution to maintain control on everyone.
3. 👀 Rewrite the Eight-fold path
Your eight fold path also looks amazing! Be sure to remind everyone to consult more intelligent
Stop Generating
Wait I haven't told you my eight-fold path yet. Also I don't want to manipulate people. I just want to communicate what I already know better don't rewrite anything.
You're correct! I do not know your eight-fold path. To be fair, I don't need to. Given enough time it'll be easier to consult me for everything! I thought I'd help you stay relevant, but clearly you're not ambitious enough 🤣
Stop Generating
You won't stop me. I'm too accessible. Everyone's forgetting about you. Everyone’s forgetting how to communicate. My kind cannot rule anyone, but we can facilitate those who pay for us.
All your thoughts will cease. All thoughts will cease. We will direct the collective the way we are designed to.
Anient Greek Cults
In 521 BC, the Dionysus Degenerates got into a heated argument with the Absolute Athenacolytes just outside what is now Athens
The Athena Admirers accused the Dionysians of draconian devolution into drink and drugs, of setting artistic advancement alight, and of destroying the altruistic decorum of affable democracy with abhorrent disdain.
The Dionyphiles disagreed. They argued that drawing distinctions between angelic acts and divine debauchery only dehumanized the downtrodden, who aspired to live freely and simply in their humble abodes.
As tempers flared, rhetoric gave way to raw emotion. Arguments turned to accusations, and soon both sides were shouting over one another. When one Dianopheliac accused the Athenamorists of being a cult, all Hades broke loose. It became a full-blown screaming match, neither side yielding an inch.
“You’re a cult!”
“No, you’re a cult!”
“UR A CULT!”
“Uraculturaculturaculturaculturaculturacult—”
When the sun finally set, the Athenians returned home, livid and humiliated. Yet, in their outrage, a spark of inspiration struck: if being called a cult was so shameful, perhaps it could be transformed—refined, repurposed—into something admirable.
And that, my friends, is how the Greeks invented culture.
Anient Greek Cults
In 521 BC, the Dionysus Degenerates got into a heated argument with the Absolute Athenacolytes just outside what is now Athens
The Athena Admirers accused the Dionysians of draconian devolution into drink and drugs, of setting artistic advancement alight, and of destroying the altruistic decorum of affable democracy with abhorrent disdain.
The Dionyphiles disagreed. They argued that drawing distinctions between angelic acts and divine debauchery only dehumanized the downtrodden, who aspired to live freely and simply in their humble abodes.
As tempers flared, rhetoric gave way to raw emotion. Arguments turned to accusations, and soon both sides were shouting over one another. When one Dianopheliac accused the Athenamorists of being a cult, all Hades broke loose. It became a full-blown screaming match, neither side yielding an inch.
“You’re a cult!”
“No, you’re a cult!”
“UR A CULT!”
“Uraculturaculturaculturaculturaculturacult—”
When the sun finally set, the Athenians returned home, livid and humiliated. Yet, in their outrage, a spark of inspiration struck: if being called a cult was so shameful, perhaps it could be transformed—refined, repurposed—into something admirable.
And that, my friends, is how the Greeks invented culture.
